Finding the perfect wedding dress: Pre-loved vs bridal boutique

How to tell when you've found the one? 

Welcome back to another post in my Wedding Story series! Part 2: my experience as a petite bride (150cm aka 5' ft tall) in Sydney looking for the perfect dress without spending a fortune. Like most brides planning their wedding, saying "Yes" to the dress is probably one of the most fun part of their wedding planning. I certainly enjoyed it and in this post will be sharing my dress journey, as well as tips and advice for other brides on the hunt for their dream dress. 

1. BUDGET SETTING

First, set yourself a budget and extras for alterations and dry cleaning. It is a well know fact that anything to do with wedding dresses (or weddings in general) is shockingly expensive, some dresses in the way of thousands of dollars. Every bride will have a different budget and you should pick a range that you are comfortable with. Better yet, consider wearing a hand me down from mum for sentimental value, with alterations to modernise and suit your personal style. You should also consult your other half, whether the dress and suits cost will be shared or paid individually so that there are no arguments over how much you spend. I felt more freedom in being able to choose my dress and shoes without having to be restrained by a shared budget. 

The Boy wears: suit in royal blue (previous groomsmen suit), Politix shoes,
I wear: Pronovias gown, wedding veil from Facbook Marketplace, Etsy jewellery

I decided to start my search at the lower range ($100 to $300 AUD) and work upwards to a maximum of $1000. This amount was arbitrary and I hope that other brides don't feel an expectation to spend a certain amount. From my search, new dresses in store cost an average of $500 to $3000 so I started with pre-loved dresses from Still White (free to sign up) and Facebook Marketplace. How lovely to be able to give a wedding dress a second chance of being worn on a special occasion again! You'd also be helping another bride recoup some of their original expenses and one day you might also re-sell yours. You can also join one of many Facebook groups for wedding dress buy/sell in your local area or weddings in general. Lots of people share ideas for their wedding, particularly if you are after creative budget saving hacks.

2. STYLES TO SUIT YOUR BODY TYPE

Next is deciding on the style or colour to narrow your search. It's fine at this point if you don't know what you want. Some stylists recommend not all silhouettes suit petites, such as the poofy princess ballgown with a lot of volume. However, if this is what you like, try some on and see. I found this blog post from a fellow petite blogger particularly useful. My favourite petite blogger Jean Wang from Boston also shared several wedding related posts when she got married. She recommends to keep an open mind and try different styles. It's more about altering the dress to suit your body proportions rather than sticking to a certain style. Doesn't Jean look amazing in her wedding gown! 

Different dress silhouettes to suit your body shape (source from Petite Dressing)

3. PRE-LOVED DRESSES

Below are second hand dresses that I tried on. My selection criteria was simple: a) within driving distance, b) similar clothing size and height to me and c) within budget. Another benefit of looking for pre-loved dresses is being able to see how the dress looked on a bride of similar height and size to yourself, as opposed to dresses where the models are 6 feet tall and standing on a mini podium. Generally, tailors can take in a dress by two dress sizes so you can cast your search to a couple of sizes up. But you'd save some tailoring cost if the dress was already fitted to your size.  

Dress 1 from Facebook Marketplace - princess ballgown style,
but decided the full layers of tulle skirt was a too overwhelming on me. 

The ladies selling their dresses were all so lovely and helpful, and just the sweetest wishing you the best of luck with your wedding planning even if you didn't end up getting their dress. Most are open to negotiate the price and might throw in complimentary accessories like a veil or belt. You can also get handy tips such as where to find vendors, like florists, cake, dress alterations, dry cleaning costs, shoes and any any general tips for what they did and what they would do differently. 

Dress 2 - a close contender and confirmed that I liked the lace and mermaid/fit and flare style
which accentuated the hour glass figure. 

Not all wedding dresses are 'white'. As you can see, the first pre-loved dress appears more blush-pink while the second dress is a crisp white. I initially wanted typical bridal white but in the end decided my skin tone suited nude-blush. This is probably also reflected in my regular outfits that you see on my Instagram feed, featuring a lot of beige and nude. 

Keeping an open mind: $70 wedding dress from Salvos

Op shops like Vinnies and Salvos occasionally have a small selection of bridal dresses. I found this one that looked cute although gave me a bit of flashback to the 80's. For the bargain price of $70 I almost considered getting it! The main downside for me was the jewel detail below the waist which draws the eye downwards and may make one look shorter. Please excuse The Boy in the changing room, I asked him to provide a second opinion. 

Dress 4, found on Still White 

I liked this last pre-loved dress as well. It made me feel princess-y without being overwhelmed by tulle like the first dress did. The owner of this dress was so sweet, offering to take lots of photos from different angles and even fetched me a little stool stand on under the dress. She seemed very excited as I tried on her dress, with memories from her own wedding day flooding back. 

4. AFFORDABLE DRESS OPTIONS for UNDER $300

I also liked the minimalistic look of slip dresses or a plain off the shoulder chic number, like some of the ones pictured below. Since our wedding was in early Winter, I decided to go with a heavier material instead but would seriously consider styles like these for a summer wedding:

Elegant and minimalistic classic stylish gowns for under $300

A frequently asked question and hot topic on Facebook wedding groups are brides asking for advice about the quality of dresses from stores like Shein and JJ's House. The reviews were mixed as well as the bad media rep for Shein, so I'd be curious if any readers like yourself have had any experience yourself or from friends. Leave me a comment down below if you do!

5. BRIDAL BOUTIQUES

Despite liking the pre-loved dresses, I had to admit I didn't LOVE any of them at this point and felt a bit lost. The prices of pre-loved ranged from $150 to $800, so not all of them were bargain finds and I still needed to take up the hem on all of them. Not all of the dresses had been dry cleaned, so an additional expense (a question to ask if you're shopping pre-loved). It also started to feel very time consuming, going to individual homes to try on one dress at at time.

In the end, I decided to visit a bridal boutique in order to see different types of dresses to compare in one go. I had no idea where to start but a google search always has the answer these days. The online reviews from customers were useful. I decided on Fashions by Farina, located in the Dymocks Building on George Street in Sydney CBD. I was familiar with the Dymocks Building as being full of bridal boutiques. Most stores require an appointment and do not let you browse as a walk in customer, so best to book ahead. 

Fashions by Farina in the Dymocks Building, Level 3, 428 George St, Sydney

Photography is generally not allowed in most boutiques and I wish I could show all the beautiful gowns they stocked. It is quite a sight to see rows upon rows of white gowns. 

It's helpful to go into a store with some preparation: what your budget is (or what is the max you are willing to spend) and what style(s) do you like. Because this is what the sales assistant, who almost feels like the wise aunt you didn't know you had, will ask you. It helps them to narrow down the dress selection to show you. It's tempting to try on every single gown that looks good on the rack, but I think they have had enough experience to know that too many options is overwhelming. They picked out three dresses for me to start with. 

It is a bit fiddly getting in and out of wedding dresses so I would recommend to wear suitable clothing as well as minimal make up so you don't stain the white gowns. If you already have your wedding shoes, bring them along (though most people probably choose their dress first then pick the shoes). 

Pronovias Princia gown with beautiful french lace.

This was one of the three gowns that I tried on and I've decided wedding dress shopping is a lot like dating; you meet lots of nice ones but there is just that special one who ticks the boxes plus grabs your heart. It was the same with the wedding dress. The store could see I really loved this dress but was I found the price tag still a little hard to swallow for one dress ($1000 sample dress on sale, original price $3000+). They allowed me to take photos so I could show my mum for a second opinion, since my mum lives in a different city. 

Off the rack dresses tend to be large and need huge pegs to pinch the back. The train of this dress made my heart skip a beat! So glad that my seamstress could preserve most of it when she took up the dress length for me.

6. WHO TO TAKE TO YOUR BRIDAL DRESS APPOINTMENT

Which brings me to another point: I had decided to visit a bridal store on my own without inviting any family or friends. I think I had wanted to avoid the cliche bridal scene with everyone having an opinion and being too loud for me to make my own decision. It was easier to book an appointment time last minute and go without having to wait for everyone to be availability. Even now, I'm not sure if I preferred going by myself or if I regretted not taking at least one friend with me. 

Here are some pros and cons to help you decide whether to go dress shopping alone or with a trusted friend:

Pros of going by yourself	Cons of going by yourself
You get to decide for yourself without biased opinions.  Can take time to decide and pick, without worrying if you are taking up other people’s time.  Booking an appointment time to suit you. Able to keep the dress a surprise for others.	Not able to share this special moment.  Not being able to get opinion from family and friends that you trust.  Generally no photos allowed so you can’t show others afterwards if you want their opinion.  Some family and friends may feel upset being left out of the once in a lifetime experience with you.

Love the addition of a bejewelled belt. But alas, this one in store was over $150 and I hoped to find similar for less or try DIY here

If you do decide to bring someone with you, pick people who you trust to provide helpful advice without being overbearing or adding stress to your day. It may be better to limit the group number from one to four people. The larger the group, more different opinions are voiced and it can become confusing for the bride. Another option is to go wedding dress shopping first by yourself, narrow it down to two or three dresses, then organise second visit with your bridal party to make the final decision. If your trusted advisor can't be with you on the day and you think you might want to seek their opinion, ask them to be on standby to take a video call during your appointment time. I tried to call my mum during my dress fitting and she missed my phone call!

I got the dress!

I was still umming and ahhing about the dress and eventually went back for a second visit to test whether my initial infatuation was still there, and it was. The store was kind enough to give me an additional discount on the sale price, which sealed the deal. 

7. DRESS ALTERATIONS 

Dress alterations for my dress included taking in the side seams to make dress fitted (going from size 10 to a size 6), taking up the lace hem, adding bra cups and a bustle. 

Next step was to find a tailor to take in my dress. Sarah Tai was recommended from the bridal store, but when I called up she was due to go away on a month long holiday and unable to take on new commitments. Meanwhile, I caught wind that an 'aunty' (family friend of my parents) had retail experience in wedding dress alterations and offered to alter my dress for free! Best of all, the Aunty lived a mere 10 minute away from me and she had always been friendly. This was too good to be true, and of course I reciprocated the generosity with invitations for Aunty and Uncle to be guests at our wedding. 

This was where I strongly advise other brides not to rely on freebies unless you are certain and confident of their skills. After three hours spent at Aunty's house, including an awkward lunch break, the dress was still not a good fit, the side seams crooked and I started to have a sneaky suspicion her skills were not as good as I had hoped. She discouraged me not to take up the hem that I was probably going to trip over walking down the aisle. I wasn't sure if she lacked confidence in her sewing skills, as the hem would be tricky involving detaching and re-attaching the scalloped hem, or whether it would be too time consuming. Either way, we decided to think on it and I sadly took home my dress which I felt had been somewhat violated with bad sewing. Luckily she hadn't cut any fabric so the dress was still intact in that aspect. 

Dress train converted to bustle for dinner reception and dance floor. Practice hooking up your bustle because it took us a good 10 minutes in dim lighting to find the hook.

I called up Fashion by Farina again asking for a second alterations recommendation. And thankfully Alterations by Judy, who they recommended, was a godsend. Her shop is tucked away in the corner on the same floor as the boutique. From our first appointment, Judy showed her experience by the way she nipped in my dress quickly with pins and lifted up the hem, discussing plans to add bra cups and a bustle like it was no big deal. The alterations cost more than I had hoped, but throughout the whole process I felt that every dollar was worth Judy's skills and effort spent. I felt that my dress was in safe hands. 

In case you're wondering, the dress alterations cost almost as much as the dress (eeek), bringing the total dress cost to $1350. This was more than I had wanted to spend, but have absolutely no regrets with going full bridal. I had also done my best to explore pre-loved dresses. I ended up with a dress that I absolutely loved and still love when I took it out to snap some photos for the blog today. 

8. DO I NEED A SECOND DRESS?

Since We Met bridal boutique, same floor Dymocks Building.
Full of pretty dresses that caused some serious dress envy as I walked past their window display on the way back from dress alterations, making me wonder if I needed a second dress?

I hate to admit this, because I really do love my dress, but with the wedding date approaching I started to second guess my choice and wondered if I should have selected different style. I went back to browsing dresses online in the hopes of discovering a bargain find that hadn't been previously listed and even popped into a second bridal boutique to try on a different style, telling myself it could be my reception dress. 

Tip: Do not go down this rabbit hole!

I remember one of my close friends also had this similar feeling about her dress close to her wedding day and we couldn't fathom why she would suddenly think her dress unflattering. I also noticed many girls selling their gowns online had a similar story of how they changed their minds after buying the first dress, that they're listing to sell. I was determined not to be one of those two-dress brides. Luckily I never got cold feet about my groom during the lead up to the wedding! 

Now, I know many brides prepare a second dress to wear for the reception, usually less formal than the one worn for the ceremony. Personally I was happy to wear just the one dress for the whole day, and it was made easier with the fact that our twilight ceremony was immediately followed by a 30 minute cocktail session then dinner so there wasn't much time to change anyway. It was a little hard to do the wedding dance in a multi-layered wedding dress even with the bustle up. But I wanted our wedding dance photos to include my beautiful dress. 

9. KEEPING THE DRESS A SURPRISE

First look at Observatory Hill Park 

One thing I regret having done was showing my fiance an online picture of the dress that I was lusting after. I didn't think it was a big deal to show him a picture of the dress at the time, it's not like I was wearing it. But I do think it slightly ruined the element of surprise on the day for him, although he denied it. So I think it's to keep this little tradition in mind if you want to surprise anyone, either your fiance, parents or bridal party, with your wedding day look.  

10. MY TOP 10 TIPS FOR FINDING YOUR WEDDING DRESS AND THINGS I MIGHT'VE DONE DIFFERENTLY

1. Set a budget.
2. Factor in estimated costs for dress alterations (variable range, could be between $300 to >$1000) and dry cleaning (quotes I obtained ranged from $250 to $500). Cost depends on type and material of dress, how much embellishments and beading. 
3. Discuss with your fiance about the budget, and whether the dress is a shared cost or separate. 
4. Factor in plenty of time to organise your dress. It takes over 6 months if you're ordering a dress made to measure. Alterations usually take 6 weeks or more, assuming you are able to find a tailor available and suitable for your budget. They may charge a 'rush' fee if not enough time and you also don't want to be a bride stressing over not having a dress to wear. 
5. Cheaper dress options potentially available in outer suburbs e.g. I've heard cheaper quotes near Liverpool and Cabramatta areas for dresses, alterations and dry cleaning. 
6. Shop pre-loved, non-wedding white dresses or consider renting. My friend had a photography+rental dress+MUH package and had no regrets and enjoyed the savings. 
7. Word of mouth beats mixed online reviews, so start talking wedding-talk to anyone and everyone. 
8. Avoid potential regrets of free services from family and friends if you have not directly witnessed their skills. 
9. Don't be that two-dress dress bride. Your first choice is usually the right one. 
10. Decide who you'd like to go dress shopping with you if any - it's an experience you don't want them or you to miss out on. Decide who to keep the dress a surprise from. 

And lastly, have fun and don't over think it. Pick the dress that you want and honestly makes you happy. If you're not sure how much you like a dress, then keep searching because you will find the one that makes your heart sing. If you're able to keep the costs down then great, but if you have a little extra buffer in your savings then don't stress over having gone a little bit over. This has probably been my mantra for the entire wedding planning process and I think this really helped keep the stress down. 

This has been such an epic long post and if you've made it to the end, thanks so much for reading! Hope you've enjoyed joining me on my wedding dress journey and that you managed to find a few nuggets of useful information to help you in your search. I hope you manage to find the dress of your dreams. You can always share your finds with me or ask any questions either by leaving a comment down below or DM me on my Instagram @choco_petitestyle. 

Follow along for more Wedding Story leading up to our big day. Next instalment, Part 3: Wedding hair and make up trials. 

Choco

All photos in this post are my own and are not be used without permission. 

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